When Nikki first asked me to share here on her blog, I was
at a loss as to what I should write.
I am awash in a sea of emotions as we eagerly await our little
“Aquababy,” so I definitely have much to say. But I am far from the first person to have ever become a
father; literally billions throughout history have experienced the absolute joy
and anticipation of their firstborn’s impending arrival. I have now joined that collective rank
but I imagine everything I am currently feeling has been articulated before,
and probably more articulately as well. And yet, this experience is also all uniquely my own
and I can’t help but strive to capture in words my thoughts as I enter into
fatherhood.
I remember vividly the night we found out that we were going
to be parents. Up to this point, over
the past two years, if someone brought up the possibility of Nikki being pregnant,
I had one go-to knee-jerk response:
I would begin to stammer and act all panicked. I typically reserved this routine for close friends and
family; perhaps you personally witnessed my nervous act and laughed along. The thing is, I truly had no such fears
about having a child; to be quite honest, as the time passed, I was filled with
a growing enthusiasm for when that day would come. But I possess a deeply self-deprecating sense of humor, and
was really playing more for laughs than out of any deep-rooted insecurity. Truth be told, it just amused me to
watch people react to my over-reaction.
As Nikki has shared previously, when she took the test and
found it to be positive, she began to laugh uncontrollably. In stark contrast to my public displays
of apprehension, I greeted the news with a stunned smile as a warm, peaceful
wave of sensation rolled over me.
It was the feeling of a joy so pure that words still fail me as to how
to describe it. I hugged Nikki
close and knew that there was only one appropriate response to celebrate such a
life-changing, blessed event in our lives: to turn to God in adoration, thanksgiving, and worship. Now I just wait patiently for that day
to come when I will hold this precious gift in my arms and pray over his or her
life to come.
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